A teacher’s trip to Paris would be so much more relaxing if it didn’t require wrangling a pack of high school students, trying to interest them in language, art and history, and occasionally bribing them with les Big Macs.
Identifying call: ‘You do that again, son, and you’ll be on the next plane home!’
Illustration by Simon Letch, graduate cum laude of the University of Life. First published Sydney Morning Herald and Melbourne Age 2015.
In towns that offer public bicycles, you may spot pairs of these intrepid visitors, uncertainly reading instructions and pressing buttons at the parking stations, then wobbling unsteadily through speeding traffic on their clunky steeds.
Identifying call: ‘Are you sure we’re allowed on the autobahn?’
Illustration by Simon Letch, who seldom wobbles unsteadily. First published, Sydney Morning Herald and Melbourne Age 2015.
Identifiable by a shuffling gait, designer sneakers, rhythmic hiss escaping from earplugs and fingers tapping at phone screen. Pubertae may appear solitary, though closer inspection often reveals related adults walking ten paces ahead.
Identifying call: ‘Why did you bring us here, Dad? What’s so good about Florence?’
Illustration by Simon Letch. First published, Sydney Morning Herald and Melbourne Age 2015.
Like a leopard stalking a young antelope, he lurks, lip curled in a knowing sneer, as novice campers take three tries to back their caravan into a parking spot, consult the tent assembly manual and futilely twiddle knobs on the gas BBQ. Then he pounces.
Identifying call: ‘You need a hand with that?’
Illustration by Simon Letch, and thanks to the Sydney Morning Herald and Melbourne Age for continuing to publish our contributions each week.
Two perspectivi are required to pull off this stunt. One aims the camera while the other props up the Leaning Tower of Pisa or pinches the point of a pyramid. Sure, Instagram may have seen it all before, but great humour must be shared.
Identifying call: ‘A little to the left, up a bit…perfect!’
Lovely work on the illustration, Simon Letch, and thanks to the Sydney Morning Herald and Melbourne Age for running our efforts each week.
A telltale sign that an obstructus is ahead is the traffic jam of passengers in a plane’s aisle. Within minutes, you may encounter the creature itself, awkwardly wrestling camera, overcoat, duty free and tribal mask into the overhead locker.
Identifying call: ‘Could you help me with my case? I’ve got this bad back.’
Simon Letch did the picture. The Sydney Morning Herald and Melbourne Age first published it. Thanks again to all.